Spring Break and New Beginnings!

Hey everyone!

I'm taking a sort of "Spring Break" to do some renovations to my site. I'll be back on March 20th (first day of Spring) with some amazing new changes that you definitely don't want to miss out on. In the meantime, follow me on my social media for daily tweets and writings. I'll talk to y'all soon ❤️

~Tea

Sunday Scribbles: Enough

Happy March!

While last month was the shortest of the year it definitely felt long. However, I want to thank everyone for over 200 page views on this blog, over 100 new followers on my twitter, over 50 on my Instagram, and over 30 on my Facebook. In order to celebrate that I want to share a new poem that I wrote. February is usually a month full of love and happiness thanks to Valentines Day. I am fortunate that I get to spend it with a woman that I love more than words on a screen can express. However, not everyone has someone to spend that time with. Some by choice, some not. This is for those whose choice it's not.

Enough
I know sticks and stones may
break my bones but fuck you because
words
hurt
too.

Words like "I love you"
"I miss you"
"I'm sorry but you made me do it"
"If you didn't [this], then I wouldn't [that]".

Lies.
Lies are what those are and it's
Lies that hurt.
Lies tell me that you don't respect me enough to tell me the truth.
That you think I'm dumb enough to believe you and
That I'm dumb enough to stay with your sorry ass.

I might be.
I might stay with you for now or
Take you back a second, third, fourth, and fifth time.
But you can only hurt me so much.

You can only break me so much before I am broken.
No. Before I am beyond broken.
Before the woman you once knew is nothing more than
Fragments of the shell of a human being
That too have been crushed into obliteration and
Spread so thin that I've lost parts of me
That I will never get back.

And then what?
You keep living your life, find some new chick
to make your marionette and weather your abuse,
believe your lies and I'm just supposed to what?
Cry?
Well, duh. I mean, isn't that what you do when you are hurt?

So, I will cry.
I will cry until every piece of you that is still
a part of me is gone, and you know why?
Because enough drops from the ocean pieces back together the sand.
Enough particles of air can produce rain, sleet, and snow.
So maybe, just maybe, if I cry enough tears
I can cry myself back into being whole.
2/24/15

~Tea

Tea Time Thursday: Happiness Vs. Money

Almost one year ago exactly, one of my best friends packed up her whole life and moved from Philly to LA. She didn’t have a job, a car, or anything lined up. All she had was a couch to crash on and ambition in her heart. With the anniversary of her moving coming up we have been speaking often about some reflections over the past year. Did she accomplish everything that she set out to accomplish? No. Not even half way. But what she did do is make it to her dream city and begin taking steps to live out her dreams. 

Why am I telling you about a mysterious friend that I have? Because, she left a good job where she had security and a steady income to take a risk. Sometimes that’s what life is all about. 

So often we think to ourselves “I wish I could…but I have to (excuse)”. Then we tell ourselves “Well maybe once I…then I will be able to."

NO. 

Truth is, there is never truly a “perfect time” to do anything. There will always be something holding you back and a little nagging voice saying “what if I leave my security and go after my dreams and fail?” What if you do? You pick yourself up and start over, right? 

Now, I’m not saying that you should just go to work tomorrow and tell off your boss. Nothing like that. If anything, you just never want to burn those professional bridges. But there are a few things that you can do if you truly want to bring about a change, soon, so that you can live out your dreams. 

1. Make a plan

• Having a plan is so important. It’s one thing to say “I want to become a doctor” but you have to educate yourself on the steps that it takes to become one before you just quit and decide to go back to school. Having a plan makes you aware of the time and possible financial commitment that it will take in order to fulfill dreams so you can be prepared now versus trying to prepare while you are in the midst of chaos.

2. SAVE! SAVE! SAVE!

• Once you know how much going after your dream is going to cost, give yourself a deadline to save up at least an 8 month emergency fund (Thanks Suzy Orman). Sometimes leaving one job means taking a pay cut so that you can pursue other avenues.  You want to make sure that you can still support yourself while you are chasing your dreams. 

3. Give yourself a deadline. 

• If you give yourself a set time, once you’ve left your current situation, to fulfill your dreams/take certain steps that will create a sense of urgency. If you know you only have 3 years to make your old salary in your new field then that will make you work that much harder. If at the end of the 3 years you still haven’t gotten there, it’s time to reevaluate. Maybe doing that full time isn’t as lucrative as you thought. But perhaps you can still do it part time and get another job to offset the cost. 

Ultimately, you never want to look back and think “what if”. We only have one life to live so at some point, even if just for 6 months or 3 months, going after your dream and doing what you truly love will be something you never forget. If you’re one of the lucky ones already living out your dream then kudos to you. For the rest of us, never give up, never stop trying, and never lose sight of your happiness. 

-Tea