Monday, September 29, 2014

Then: Sept. 2005 creative writing assignment 10th grade

* assignment was to write 12 things I don't understand*

I Do Not Understand

I Do Not Understand
Why you caused me such pain
Why you screwed me in the brain
Why you caused me to go insane.

I Do Not Understand
Why you caused my soul to bleed
Why you took advantage of me
Why you left me in need.

I Do Not Understand
Why you abused me everyday
Why I was used and raped
Why you treated me like a dog that had to obey you.

I Do Not Understand
What caused you to lie,
Why you "love me" yet wanted me to die.
Why you got off on my tears as I cried.

I Do Not Understand
The lying and the cheating,
The rapes and the beatings,
Why I tried to kill myself and you were the reason.

But what I DO understand
is that I am more deserving
and worthy of love and respect.
That my body is mine
and I'm tired of the lack
of kindness and joy
in my days.

But you need to understand
That I am going to be okay!

-Sept. 27, 2005 8:15am

~Tea

Monday, August 18, 2014

Those Moments

In my most quiet of moments
it is your voice that speaks
your touch that engulfs me
and your love that adorns me.

It is in the heart of those moments
that I feel...peace.
All of my stressors and triggers
evade my mind.
No negativity can penetrate
the power of those moments
and return my thoughts to their
original dark state.

It is in the heart of those moments
that I feel...safe.
I can do anything
become anything
and know that if I ever falter or fall
you will always be there
to pick me up, nurse my wounds
and encourage me to try again.

It is in the heart of those moments
if only for a moment
when in the private comfort
of my own mental safe haven
I feel...
Happy.

~Tea

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

What Have I Been Up To?


You may be wondering where have I been, or you may have not even noticed that I have been absent. Either way, I’M BACK! Also, I do have a new URL and layout. A lot of things in my life are changing and I want my blog to reflect those changes. That being said, there will be a slight redirect to the overall theme of my blog. It’s going to be more lifestyle/life lessons and about me being 24 years old, moving from just outside of  Washington DC into the actual city, and living life. I’ll still share my writings from time-to-time, so no worries in that department.

One of the biggest changes recently was me getting a new job. The first year after graduating college is always the hardest in terms of figuring out what would be a good professional fit between college and grad school. Your 20’s are for exploring life, finding yourself, what makes you happy, and what you want to spend the rest of your life doing. I don’t have it fully figured out yet but I’m getting there. Accepting a job in the city was only the first step.

Speaking of steps, I GOT ACCEPTED INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL! After months of preparations and waiting everything has come together. The waiting process felt never ending. Now accepted it’s only a matter of “Is this the right decision for the rest of my life”? Grad school is the next step in having a career which will define what I do with my life until I retire. It’s a stressful decision to make, but I’m confident that I made the right one.

With all of this change happening, I’m also going to be moving next month. There are so many opportunities for employment and internships in the city that it seems like a natural move for me to make right now. The further I move from my birth state the more I learn that home is truly wherever I decide to make it.

My first summer in the city is sure to be filled with some unforgettable moments that I will be sure to share. Before getting settled in the city, however, I’m making a trip back to my home state for a much needed vacation. I’m from a little country town on the panhandle of Florida, but I’ll be traveling to the typical tourist spots for a change and then packing up and moving to D.C. I’ll still be living below the Mason Dixon line but having lived in the deep south for majority of my life, the Nation’s Capital isn’t exactly "southern" to me. None-the-less, I’m definitely ready bring some southern sunshine to the Capital City! Until Next time,


~Tea